At the risk of sounding like a braggart, we Heisman Trophy voters are essentially the sports media’s SEAL Team 6. Elite. Undaunted. Able to elaborately prepare multiple coated sausages without missing a beat. Do you think they would let any old idiot vote for college sports’ highest individual honor? Please.

Okay, fine, they do. There are almost 1,000 of us, so many rusty pennies in a jar.

Either way, all of this year’s voting is complete and the Heisman will be presented to the winning player on Saturday in New York. Colorado two-way sensation Travis Hunter is the heavy favorite, while Boise State running back Ashton Jeanty, Miami quarterback Cam Ward and Oregon quarterback Dillon Gabriel are the other finalists. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how I voted yet, as it is expressly forbidden by the Heisman Trust until the winner has taken the podium, thanked their agents, lawyers, brand consultants and personal stylists, and thrown at least two handfuls of 100- Dollar bills in the air.

So we can’t talk about that, but guess what the Sun-Times is ready to reveal right here, right now? Yes, friends, it’s time again for our annual Wiseman Trophies. They may not be as coveted as the Heisman, but there are no “buts.”

Let’s get to them.

Skyman: Come forward and receive your award, Paul Rubelt, and try not to hit your head on the ceiling. The 6-11 Rubelt, the tallest player in college football, has finally secured a starting spot at offensive tackle in his fifth season at UCF. Not bad for a guy who grew up in Germany and didn’t play football until he spent a year at Hiawatha High School in DeKalb County.

Triesmann: On behalf of Georgia and Georgia Tech, accept Georgia running back Nate Frazier, who – by God, someone had to – scored the game-winning two-pointer in a 44-42 regular-season finale that went to an absurd eight overtimes achieved. Combined, the Bulldogs and Yellow Jackets failed on nine of their 12 two-point attempts in the OT period. Who do they think they are, the bears?

Buyer: This goes to Oregon, who acquired Gabriel through the transfer portal at an incredible bargain price. Gabriel’s estimated zero earnings were around $2 million – several QBs around the country earned more – and he was well worth it, playing nearly flawlessly as he led the undefeated Ducks to a No. 1 seed in the College Football Playoff.

Maximizeman: As Shedeur Sanders’ famous father once rapped, “Must be the money!” The Colorado QB certainly would have been selected had he entered the 2024 NFL Draft, but he returned to school making more zero dollars than anyone else – a whopping $6 million or so – and played his way to the top of the 2025 draft boards. Here’s how to do it.

Franchisee: With all due respect to Gabriel and Sanders, Miami’s Cam Ward was the most valuable QB on the field. In his only season with the Hurricanes, he anchored the offense and led them to the top of the stat charts game after game. Even in his team’s two losses, Ward totaled 700 yards passing with five touchdowns and zero interceptions. Nobody outside of the playoffs deserves to be there more.

Ayesman: We grudgingly honor the playoff selection committee for staying true and voting for the undoubtedly better but – perhaps – less deserving Alabama at SMU. The last general offer set a precedent for a particularly large offer.

Downsize man: A long, heartfelt token from the helmet to Washington State, which behaved as if the dual heartache of (1) the death of the Pac-12 and (2) disregard from the rest of the major conferences never happened. While the rest of the country was busy not caring, Pullman’s have-nots won eight games, including one at top-ranked Washington, that was so intensely satisfying that the feeling might last forever.

Rabbi: The LDS Church’s QB1 is – what else? – Jewish. Bar mitzvah-wearing, Star of David-wearing Jake Retzlaff won 10 games at BYU this season, reportedly as one of only three Jewish students at a school of more than 35,000 students. In a development too perfect to redeem, the player nicknamed “BY-Jew” signed a NIL contract with Manischewitz last week. L’chaim!

Pulverizeman: Oregon strength and conditioning coach Wilson Love took a break from his moves in front of the mirror to grab a sledgehammer and smash a Washington helmet with all his might at halftime of the Ducks’ rivalry win in the regular-season finale. This is definitely a way to cheer on a team.

Stiesman: Who had a career-best six tackles at New Mexico State? Louisiana Tech defensive lineman Pig Cage, that’s him. You’re going to get dirty, boy.

Improviser: No one struggled to keep the pieces alive like Vanderbilt’s Diego Pavia. Ask Alabama, whose defense was spun like a top by Pavia in the Commodores’ astonishing 40-35 upset of the Tide in October. Pavia gave the underdog Vandy a chance week after week and, no matter how hard he was knocked down, continued to do so with swagger, poise and a sneer – just like alum Jay Cutler once did.

Despiser: After late-season “raise the flag” episodes had everyone talking about this method of taunting a rival, Michigan coach Sherrone Moore went to another level. At a Wolverines basketball game following an epic upset football victory at Ohio State, Moore sent the crowd into a frenzy by “planting” an imaginary flag. We’re sure the video of this won’t make it to Columbus.