Editor’s Note: The following article is an editorial and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more Opinions on the Grio.

I try to stay out of other people’s relationships as much as possible; I need to keep my own marriage afloat without other people’s problems clouding my love story. Despite my best attempts, my social media schedules have decided that today – this December 12th in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-four – I will participate in the machinations of Remy Ma and Papoose. Here’s what I know in a nutshell.

The couple that once was Love & Hip Hop: New York“‘s favorite duo, are still married.” Remy allegedly cheated on Papoose with a guy who Pap eventually knocked out. Pap wants a divorce. They are still married. Remy claims that she was actually the faithful one and Pap cheated on her her as long as they are still married and living together. You have a child who is caught up in all this. This must have been going on for at least a year or more at this point. They are still married. It’s all too much.

On social media, Remy and Pap exchange alleged infidelities and indiscretions (do we have to call them alleged at this point?). Seriously, just go to their Instagram accounts, all the receipts are there. And in the event that they both clear it all up and delete it (which seems unlikely), there’s all the back and forth on every black gossip site. We’ve got screenshots and photos and captions and IG stories and the whole nine. At this point, all means and attempts are used to destroy each other.

While the mess they make of each other really only affects them and their families (pray for the children), there are some lessons to be learned here for the rest of us. Memories, if you will, often come from the world of celebrities, love and social media. (Thanks to Keke Palmer and Darius Jackson and Halle Baily and DDG etc. for the countless examples of the cost of public relationships.)

2025 is just around the corner. According to my ever-astute mathematical calculations, we only have 19 (or 18, depending on when you read this) days left in 2024, a year I can’t wait to continue. People like to be all thoughtful and ambitious in the new year, so I hope everyone who pays attention to Remy and Pap’s ballyhoo goes into 2025 with that intention Keep your relationship problems off social media. Of course it’s okay to post pictures of important people and share the beautiful moments. But when we get to using platforms for little things (which sounds like a fundraiser – I assure you it’s not), the relationship has no choice but to become Titanic.

Also, let’s say you decide to make things right after going nuclear on social media. The rest of us not only don’t support you, but completely divest ourselves. I don’t want to hear about your relationship with this toxic person who you decided to “do life” with because you feel love despite the haters. There aren’t even any haters; There are people who You Drawn into your nonsense that you now want to stay out of of that.

I ask that you keep the detailed daily inner workings of the ups and downs of your love life off of social media. It’s much easier to be a happy couple without EVERY other person having the opportunity to comment on it.

I don’t know what will happen to Remy and Pap’s relationship. By all accounts (that’s a pun since it’s all over social media), their relationship is over. Why they are still married is a mystery to me. As far as I can see, both have moved on. Although I suspect they still live together. Adults have to learn to grow up. I hope their children are all well, but the children are almost never well. Mom and Dad argue publicly when they should be having ALL of these conversations privately.

Please, someone, pick up their phones and remember, don’t be Remy Ma and Papoose.

Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast “Dear Culture” on theGrio Black Podcast Network. He writes very dark things, drinks very brown spirits and is pretty fast for an easy guy. His greatest achievement to date coincides with his greatest achievement to date as the Blackest, which was getting a call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his articles (greatest), but he didn’t answer the phone because it was on caller ID “Unknown” (Black First) stood).