Exactly 12 years ago, on December 14, 2012, 20 first graders and six teachers were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut: an unimaginable tragedy that left me in a grief that will never truly heal. To honor my son Dylan, the other loved ones killed on that tragic day, and all victims of gun violence, I have made it my life’s mission to put my grief into action. As a parent, you never think it could be you.

By helping to found Sandy Hook Promise – the only national organization dedicated to protecting children from gun violence – I want to ensure that no other parent has to endure what I did.

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Unfortunately, gun violence remains the leading cause of death among children and adolescents under 18 in the United States. While we hope to see this deadly trend reverse, we know there is still much work to be done. And it starts at home.

As a parent or trusted adult, it is our job to do everything we can to protect our children from obvious dangers and harm. And with the advancement of AI, social media, and malicious actors driving harmful marketing strategies, it’s even more important than ever for us to stay involved, actively set boundaries, and communicate openly with our children.

This is how you can help protect young people.

Take an active role in having difficult conversations about guns and gun violence.

It can be difficult to approach your child about a sensitive topic. However, as a trusted adult, you are vital to the health, development and emotional stability of the children in your life, whether you are a parent, grandparent, teacher, faith leader or guardian. In this role, you have more power to do good than you might think. You can proactively try to talk to your child about the damaging epidemic of gun violence.

As we see more and more evidence of the massive impact that social media has on young brains, we can and must do more to limit harmful effects. The prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse control, personality, social behavior and decision-making, is not fully developed until a person is in their mid-20s. This means that children are particularly vulnerable to certain marketing messages due to their brain development. As a parent or guardian, understand what social media apps your children use, talk about how influencer marketing works, and how the personalities you follow on social media not only share what they like, but get paid for it will try to persuade you to buy something. Follow your children’s accounts so you know what they see and post.

Gun manufacturers use social media influencers to market weapons in ways that contain aggressive messages about power and sexuality. Educate your children about the prevalence of firearms marketing and prepare them for the information they may receive or receive from these harmful messages.

You can begin by explaining the history of firearms in America and distinguishing the legitimate use of firearms for sports such as hunting and target shooting from the use of military weapons designed for use on the battlefield. Next, you should be aware that weapons in movies, television, and video games are intended to make the character holding them appear cool and powerful. Help them be thoughtful media critics and recognize the difference between reality and entertainment – challenge them to be more aware of what they see and remind them to ask themselves whether they are being silently manipulated .

Actively establish housekeeping rules to combat harmful online marketing programs.

As Sandy Hook Promise uncovered in our UnTargeting Kids report, firearms manufacturers are targeting young adults, particularly men. Over the last decade, the firearms industry has targeted youth with combat-oriented online marketing. These young men are being targeted in online communities and using dangerous tactics to exploit them and define what it means to be a “man.” At the same time, firearms manufacturers have begun developing weapons specifically for children, including a children’s version of the AR-15 semi-automatic rifle, the gun used in the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, and many others.

The perpetrators of the school shootings in Sandy Hook, Parkland and Uvalde were exposed to and influenced by violent firearms marketing tactics. Recently, the gunman who attempted to assassinate President Trump wore a T-shirt with the logo of a popular gun influencer. It is clear that these influencers are dangerous and their messages should not reach our youth.

To prevent gun tragedies caused by this manipulative marketing, parents can take steps to protect their children from harmful online content. Set limits on how much time children can spend on their devices and decide when they can access them. Encourage children to spend more time playing sports, participating in extracurricular activities, and getting involved in social events – all great ways to promote a healthy lifestyle, be involved in the community, and improve mental health.

And parents – both gun owners and non-gun owners – should be able to control the information their children receive about firearms. Sign our petition asking gun manufacturers to stop targeting children in their ads. We do not allow cigarettes or alcohol to be marketed to youth as they are not old enough to purchase the products. Why should firearms be any different?

Know the signs.

One of our guiding principles at Sandy Hook Promise is that gun violence is preventable if you know the signs. As trusted adults, it is up to us to recognize these signs so we can help reverse the horrific trend of gun violence and other harmful actions in our schools, homes and communities. Trustworthy adults should be aware of behaviors that are often associated with violence. This includes sudden withdrawal from friends and family, extreme bullying or retreat into social isolation. These signs should be taken seriously as they are all warning signs of potential violence that parents and other trusted adults need to address.

It’s important to remember that gun violence is a public health epidemic – and like combating any disease or virus, prevention and intervention are paramount. A public health approach to ending an epidemic includes community-based programs, awareness, research and policies that we can all support.

learning the warning signs; Understanding the far-reaching effects of violence, social isolation and the importance of safely securing our legal firearms; and knowing when and how to get help for people who may be in crisis are important components of cultural, structural and behavioral change.

Looking back on the last 12 years …

As we look back over the last 12 years, these groundbreaking developments would not have been possible without one crucial fact: no matter what we think, it divides us, us all We want a future in which our children feel safe and free from the threat of gun violence. When I helped launch Sandy Hook Promise, just a month after tragedy struck my family and the lives of many others, I never imagined we could have the impact we have today. I am so proud that we prevented at least 16 credible planned school shootings, that more than 31 million people participated in our Know the Signs programs, and that at least 700 young people were saved from suicide.

As adults and parents, we all have a responsibility to protect children, the most precious and vulnerable gifts in our lives. By actively listening, communicating openly with our children, and recognizing – and acting on – the warning signs of violence, we can all make a difference.

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