Martin Short began his monologue for his fifth time as host of “Saturday Night Live” by joking that he had to get through it quickly because “I have 10 sketches to get to where I’m playing an elf.”

He then added, “Also, I kept my Uber driver waiting, and you know how testy Matt Gaetz can be,” referring to the disgraced former U.S. congressman.

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The first half of Short’s monologue continued in this manner with old-fashioned punch line jokes. He thanked “SNL” creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels for inviting him to host the show’s 50th season, noting that they are “very close friends.”

“We’re a little like Trump and Elon Musk,” Short added. “Without the sexual tension.”

Short said that in addition to joining the Five Timers Club, he is about to start the fifth season of “Only Murders in the Building” and owns five Tesla Cybertrucks. “Don’t drive,” he added. “They’re just so beautiful.”

As for Short’s “Only Murders” co-star Steve Martin, a longtime member of the Five Timers Club: “He would have been here tonight,” Short said. “But he had a conflict – because I didn’t want him to be here.”

At this point, Short was joined on stage by cast members Sarah Sherman, Heidi Gardner, Ego Nwodim, Kenan Thompson and Bowen Yang, who complained to Short that they were all stressed out about the holidays – an occasion for Short, a classic to use “SNL” monologue song.

So Short took part in the standard tour of the halls of Studio 8H, singing to the tune of “We Need a Little Christmas” by Johnny Mathis, with the lyrics changed to all the medicine people need to get through the season.

“So you need a new recipe just to get through Christmas,” Short sang. “Yes, you need a new recipe to fly higher than Blitzen. Don’t snort snow or smoke holly. Here is my plan to make you happy!”

Short then listed a bevy of drugs before singing, “Take it off those pruners: Get those drugs before they’re outlawed by RFK Jr!”

After a quick pit stop to make out with Jimmy Fallon — who had just appeared in Short’s Five Timers Club Cold Open sketch — Short brought the show back on stage for the big finale before telling fans to stay for musical guest Hozier .

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