Ed Burns has played many roles throughout his 30-year career as an actor, writer and director.

But one role stands out this time of year: He plays Cameron Diaz’s impulsive boyfriend Ethan The holiday.

“I always know when Christmas is coming because people start saying, ‘Hey, The holiday!’ Burns, 56, tells PEOPLE that the popular film has repeat screenings every December.

In the film, Burns’ character, a slick Hollywood film composer, admits to cheating on Diaz’s character, Amanda, because of her emotional unavailability. Diaz punches him in the face in return.

“People always ask me, ‘Does she have this?’ Really hit you?’ ” he says with a laugh. The answer? “She didn’t. It was a bit of movie magic.

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Had Ethan not been cheated on, heartbroken Amanda might never have booked an idyllic little cottage in the English countryside and fallen in love with the super-charming Graham (Jude Law) – and Kate Winslet’s character Iris would never have gotten to LA meets Miles (Jack Black) met and fell in love with him. So who can really be mad at Ethan?

Burns most recently wrote and directed the film Müller in marriagee, a funny drama about three siblings in their early 50s who are going through family and marital changes. Burns’ character is divorced and trying to date again, while his sister (Gretchen Mol) falls in love with her husband. His other sister (Julianna Margulies) is coping with a dreary marriage as a new, empty marriage.

Burns says the conversations in the film were based on real conversations he and his wife, Christy Turlington, had with other couples who were friends.

“One of the things I first started to explore in the script was the idea of, ‘How do you define yourself when you’re no longer like a parent, when it’s 24/7 with the kids?’ ” he says. (He and Turlington are parents to Grace, 21, and Finn, 18. Both are college students, and he says they’re “on the road to success.”)

“Then I thought, ‘How does a couple view and redefine their marriage after this big task is lifted?’ It’s like a shark: if it doesn’t move forward, it dies. So how can you replace parenting in your marriage to ensure she continues to grow as a writer? .”

He also enjoyed writing the role for Benjamin Bratt’s character Johnny, a rock journalist who feels like he’s out of step with his lifestyle and career and New York City is just a city for the youth.

“It was fun to write about him because a lot of the stuff just passed through my larger group of colleagues, especially my friends in the art world. You’re in your mid-50s and even approaching 60 and you ask yourself, ‘Will I work?’ again? Do I even have anything left to say?’ ”

Of course, Burns still has a lot to say. He is currently writing the sequel to the romantic comedy The McMullen brothers30 years after the original came out and made him a sensation at just 27 years old. He is thrilled to see the family of Irish Catholic brothers from Long Island who were then just figuring out life and love.

“We start filming in April!” he says about the sequel. He still doesn’t know exactly who will reprise their roles. – The film also starred Connie Britton and Mike McGlone. “We haven’t started casting yet. That will be the next news. Although of course. I’ll be there.”