There were tears on the sidelines before the melee, the pepper spray and the heavy boos that underscored a rivalry gone too far. There were two minutes left between the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Michigan Wolverines – still faint but fading hope that the home team could find a way to win the game that has been haunting them. The pain of the moment had already overwhelmed Ryan Day’s family.

On the sidelines at Ohio State University, tears streamed down the frozen cheeks of his teenage daughters. The score was tied, but the end was near. Michigan repeatedly threw the ball to the middle of the line of scrimmage, killing time before it could send out the field goal unit. Dominic Zvada hit a chip shot for a 13-10 lead, the Buckeyes’ final possession went four times in vain, and when the game was over, the sadness could no longer be contained. Sobs followed.

Earlier this week, Day told an Ohio television station how much his three-game losing streak against Michigan had affected him and his family: “Honestly, it’s one of the worst things that’s happened to me in my life. Aside from losing my dad and a few other things, this is honestly the worst thing that has happened to my family. So something like this can never happen to us again.”

It happened again. In one game, Ohio State was expected to win by a landslide. With a $20 million roster assembled as a direct, urgent response to Michigan winning the national title last season.

When you see how much the fourth straight loss to the Wolverines tore up Day’s kids – and then when you see the teams get into a brawl after the game – it’s time for a reality check. This has all become too much.

Urban Meyer turned Michigan-Ohio State into something that was a matter of life and death and dominated the rivalry. Jim Harbaugh regrouped and returned the favor with three straight wins, while his associate Connor Stalions engaged in ridiculous sign-stealing spying – a backstabbing that led to Harbaugh’s suspension by the Big Ten and is the subject of an ongoing NCAA investigation. And now we have a postgame scene that should embarrass both schools — but probably won’t.

The play that started this postgame conflagration was when the Wolverines planted their flag in the middle of Ohio Stadium, flying it on the scarlet “O.” The Buckeyes were just starting to somberly mumble their way through the traditional postgame song “Carmen Ohio” in front of the student body when boos erupted from the crowd, alerting the players to what was happening behind them.

Baker Mayfield did the same thing here in 2017 after a win at Oklahoma. But this is Michigan, the eternal rival. Ohio State players ran to confront them, and it appeared dozens of players and staff members were taking blows. Law enforcement entered the fray and began wantonly pepper spraying everyone – players, coaches, media members, whoever was nearby. It was an overreaction to an overreaction.

Ohio State University police issued a statement Saturday afternoon: “After the game, officers from multiple law enforcement agencies helped break up an altercation on the field. During the confrontation, several officers from Ohio and Michigan used pepper spray. OSUPD is the lead agency for gaming and will continue the investigation.”

When asked about the scuffle, Day said, “I don’t know all the details, but these guys want to plant a flag on our field and our guys weren’t going to let that happen.”

The better response to a humiliating defeat and Michigan’s taunts would have been to simply keep his head down and leave the field. But this was another example of an exaggerated rivalry.

It’s a football game, man. And it has strayed from the leash of perspective and into an unhealthy space that it did not previously inhabit. Yes, there were moments: Ohio State players tearing down the “Go Blue” banner at Michigan Stadium in the 1970s; Woody Hayes broke a side marker above his knee in 1973. But now we’re at a point where defeat is literally unbearable.

John Cooper coached the Buckeyes for 13 years with a 2-10-1 record against Michigan. Harbaugh lost his first four games against Ohio State as the Wolverines’ coach, but was given a chance to turn things around. Such patience seems unrealistic in the current toxic times.

Day is 66-10 at Ohio State, a ridiculous record, and yet it’s not good enough to keep him from being booed off the field by the angriest non-NFL crowd I’ve ever heard. His children had to listen to it. That’s what Day signed up for as the Buckeyes’ coach – and he’s paid phenomenally well, more than $10 million a year. Beating Michigan is part of the job – especially a 6-5, three-touchdown underdog Michigan that is struggling through life, according to Harbaugh.

But to think and say that it “can never happen again” is both unrealistic and extreme. The burden of a rivalry he cannot win has become too great.

So it’s time to hit reset for both Day and Ohio State. There are plenty of power conference schools that would like to have him, and it’s clear that the Buckeye faithful would like to have someone else. Athletic director Ross Bjork walked off the field at Ohio Stadium amid shouts from the stands warning him to find a new coach. He should listen to these admonitions and find a way out of the school’s relationship with Day, which is contractually scheduled to run until 2029.

But here’s the extremely unpleasant part: Ohio State will almost certainly make the College Football Playoff. It still has a chance at the national championship, maybe even a good chance since it won’t have to face its nemesis Michigan again.

Has a school in this position ever felt the need to change coaches?

If Ohio State wins it all, a 1-4 record in an all-consuming rivalry can be forgiven. Which actually increases the pressure on Day, assuming he wants to stay – win the title or leave. To win that title, he’ll have to find a way to regroup this team, which may now be leaning toward an away playoff game instead of one in The Horseshoe.

“We can still be on top and win the national championship,” Ohio State University quarterback Will Howard said as he didn’t keep apologizing for a two-interception effort.

The Buckeyes need to improve their offense before Dec. 20 or 21, the date of the first-round playoff games. This was a disaster for this unit – from coordinator Chip Kelly’s insistence on sticking with an ineffective running game against an excellent run defense, to Howard’s mistakes, to his inability to keep his elite receiving corps open for big plays. Ohio State had only one play longer than 18 yards – a pass in the flat to TreVeyon Henderson that went for 24 yards due to a Michigan coverage break.

But most importantly, Ohio State must show it can handle the pressure of a national championship hunt. Because it certainly can’t handle the pressure of the Michigan rivalry.

After being defeated by the Wolverines in 2021 and 2022, the Buckeyes came up just short against the eventual national champions in the Big House last year. They were close this year too, but it should never have been this close. Pandemic season aside, this is the worst Michigan team since ’14. The Wolverines’ quarterbacking issues have been glaring all season and almost cost them this game – Davis Warren responded to Howard’s painful decisions with two poor decisions of his own.

And yet it was Michigan that hit the first downs when the game was on the line. Ohio State didn’t have a score in the fourth quarter or in the final 20 minutes of the game. With all this talent.

The longer this game was close, the worse the aura became for the Buckeyes. A crowd of 106,005 spectators were prone to anxious, brooding silence. Two missed field goals shorter than 40 yards added to an aura of doom. You could almost feel the weight crushing everyone in scarlet and gray.

And you could see it in the faces of Day’s daughters. It was painful. It’s a football game that has become something bigger, and not in a good way. Perhaps the greatest of all college rivalries needs to be restarted.