4 mins A dodgy pass from Tsimikas goes into the penalty area to Solanke. Van Dijk pushes him away from goal, Solanke tries to find Kulusevski, but the ball is eventually cleared.

3 mins Salah splashes an early diagonal pass over the top to Gakpo, who cuts deliberately inside but then runs into a crowd of recovering Spurs defenders.

2 mins “I misread the rumors about Spurs signing Simon Syphus as Sisyphus, the unfortunate boy from Greek mythology doomed to push a stone up a hill only to fail again and again,” begins Paul Griffin. “Forever, actually. It’s a great shame that there isn’t a parallel to Simon Sisyphus’s new club, otherwise we might invent a tortured gag about his predicament. Or maybe the torture will end tonight…”

That was the GAG. SIMON SYPHUS. SI SYPHUS. And yes, I know it doesn’t work phonetically, and come to think of it I should have nodded to Sissy Spacek, but my brain isn’t what it used to be, and it wasn’t much to begin with.

1 minute Look, look! As we watch, the Spurs line up from right to left.

The second leg will be played at Anfield on Thursday, February 6th2029mainly because the Champions League has parked its tanks on the Carabao turf. The first leg is about to begin.

“An evening at the opera!” is the subject of Matthew Lever’s email. Here is (Timo) Werner Herzog, dragging the metaphorical ship further uphill and following the Spurs. Possibly.”

“Fitzcarraldo was a very good film“I didn’t have to read the subtitles to understand the plot,” says Jeremy Boyce. “Unlike Tottenham these days. I would imagine Ange and Tottenham more like Klaus’ daughter Natasha in Paris, Texas. Much-needed excellent aesthetics and an increased pulse rate after a long period of drought in the desert.”

“Fitzcarraldo was one of the coolest films “I’ve ever seen it on the big screen,” writes Joe Pearson, “especially if you knew beforehand how crazy it was to film it.” The only other visual spectacle of the period with which I can compare it, is Kurosawa’s Kagemusha. Brilliant!”

Aren’t writers supposed to make readers feel uneducated, rather than the other way around?

A reminder to the teams

Tottenham Hotspur (4-3-3) Kinsky; Pedro Porro, Dragusin, Gray, Spence; Bergvall, Bentancur, Bissouma; Kulusevski, Solanke, son.
Subs: Austin, Dorrington, Johnson, Lankshear, Moore, Olusesi, Reguilon, Werner, Yang Min-hyuk.

Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Bradley, Quansah, Van Dijk, Tsimikas; Jones, Gravenberch, Mac Allister; Salah, Jota, Gakpo.
Substitutes: Kelleher, Endo, Konate, Diaz, Nunez, Chiesa, Elliott, Robertson, Alexander-Arnold.

referee Stuart Attwell.

“Everyone knows that Father Ted: Speed ​​3 that was it real Sequel (and one that you could actually watch for a year),” writes Justin Kavanagh. “When Father Dougal takes over Pat Mustard’s milk shop and discovers that the booby-trapped vehicle cannot drop below 4 miles per hour, the drama is unbearable. A bit like Ange replacing Ryan Mason and driving the team to ruin with no other way to stop him. I don’t think the Spurs have a prayer tonight.”

They should have started the game very early in the morning and deployed Pat Mustard as centre-back.

“I’m not normally one of the big six a bit loose (even with PSR most of them have more brass and wit, as you might say in Yorkshire),” begins Richard Hirst, “but when you look at the strength of the two benches you just feel a little sympathy for them.” Ange.”

Yes, but look at the strength of the Spurs treatment room.

“Spurs’ new young goalkeeper “We will have a busy debut against my Reds anyway, so we shouldn’t burden him even more by giving him a funny but wrong name,” writes Ernst Draxl. “It’s Antonin Kinsky.”

Thanks, these have now been changed. They were more typos (it’s been a while) than attempts at hilarity.

Read Arne Slot about contracts and quadruples

At the moment all the players are fit, but when we lose points due to injuries, people say it’s because you have injuries. When Mo (Salah) misses a penalty against (Real) Madrid, he is distracted by his contract situation. If Trent (Alexander-Arnold) doesn’t show his best performance (against Manchester United), he will be distracted by the contract situation.

When they’re playing really well, no one tells me, “It’s because they have a contract situation.” We always try to find arguments, but nine times out of ten the best argument is the quality of the team you’re playing against, or the other team’s schedule.

“I would rate Basic Instinct 2 as the worst sequel (and also completely unnecessary), but I agree that Speed ​​2 was terrible,” writes Krishnamoorthy V. “Even Dafoe couldn’t save it.”

Do you realize how much I’m struggling to resist the lure of the J button right now?

If you take this quiz your life will be better (for about 120 seconds)

Ange Postecoglou on Son Heung-min

We are a team that is very dysfunctional and doesn’t play with the fluency it needs to play with. We ask players to play in positions they are completely unfamiliar with. But if we’re at our best, I still think you’ll see Sonny’s return – in terms of his ability to score goals and be really effective for us. He goes through a hard trot, but we go through a hard trot. These go hand in hand.

From the archive: classic Spurs vs Liverpool games

So the Titanic. This came a month after Tom Mason and Ernie Newman gave Tottenham a 2-1 win at Anfield on March 16, 1912. Who would have thought it would take the Lilywhites another 73 years to record their next win in Liverpool? And that – this is scary – they would record it on the exact same day of the year?

Garth Crooks was the hero of Peter Shreeves’ side as they set their sights on the championship. Reigning champions Liverpool had played erratically all season and Kevin MacDonald – a good but not great player – was no replacement for the departed Graeme Souness.

That result – Crooks scored the winner 19 minutes from time after Bruce Grobbelaar missed Micky Hazard’s shot – was wildly celebrated by Spurs. Partly because of the removal of the historic millstone, the players were allowed to keep their jerseys as a souvenir, at a time when such practices were rarer, but mostly because it looked like it would be the symbolic catalyst for winning the title.

“The name of the new Spurs goalkeeper is strongly reminiscent of the late German acting hit Klaus Kinski,” states Sandr Peter Oh. “When you think about it, managing Spurs must feel a little like trying to pull a ship over a mountain while listening to an opera.”

Additionally, Spurs have reportedly agreed a deal for MK Dons’ teenage defender Simon Syphus.

Team news: Kinsky makes Spurs debut

preamble