Another break-in at an athlete's home could be solved thanks to the SI swimsuit model's stay with Joe Burrow

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In case you were somehow distracted by other things like presidential elections, assassination attempts, court cases, world wars, etc Moana 2A large series of events took place in America. Namely, a series of break-ins into the homes of some of our greatest athletes. Everything seems to be connected:

And while the rest of us enjoyed Cincinnati in Dallas on Monday Night Football last night, the latest victim of this interstate crime appears to have been Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow. The good news is that thanks to the efforts of a heroic Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model, there appears to be a lead in the case:

Source – Olivia Ponton – a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who has nearly eight million followers on TikTok – was the one who reported the break-in at Joe Burrow’s Ohio home to police … according to a police report obtained by TMZ Sports .

In the documents, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office wrote that Ponton called in the break-in around 8:14 p.m. — when Burrow, 28, was in the middle of his “Monday Night Football” matchup with the Dallas Cowboys in Texas.

According to the documents, Ponton told officers that when she pulled up to the Cincinnati-area residence, she noticed “a broken bedroom window and a ransacked room.” According to the report, Ponton called her mother, who then called police.

The police audio recording shows that during the call, Olivia’s mother, Diane, told dispatchers: “(Olivia) is wondering what to do, whether to hide or go outside.” Ponton herself was later heard in a separate Add call: “Someone broke into my house… It’s a complete mess.”

It’s unclear exactly why Ponton was there…although the HCSO documents state that she is “employed by Mr. Burrow.” …

Ponton, 22, has not publicly commented on the situation – nor her relationship with Burrow. The Bengals superstar also remained silent on both topics.

Naturally. Who’s to say why a 22-year-old swimsuit model should have access to a 28-year-old superstar quarterback’s home? There could be a hundred reasons. All we could really do is speculate, and that would be irresponsible.

It is important to remember that Burrow was lucky enough to have given keys/security codes to Olivia Ponton. Although she might have preferred to be in Dallas instead of waiting for Burrow in Cincinnati, it was her speed and keen attention to detail that may have made this caper crack in the end. Police always say that timing is the most important thing when solving a crime. If the crime scene remains under control, it becomes much more difficult for law enforcement to track down the perpetrator. Thanks to the efforts of Burrow’s intrepid swimsuit detective, they just might get their man.

If nothing else, this situation confirms what we have learned from watching Zoolander. Models are more than just people who are photogenic and look great in clothes. You can be among our best spies:

Let this be a lesson to all of us. Do everything you can to get involved with a model. Personally and professionally. They are the ones who can protect us all from harm and stop evil in this world. So thank you Olivia Ponton. Not just from Burrow, but from a grateful nation.