A new Netflix documentary shows Tim Bergling, aka Avicii, reflecting on the impact fame had on him before he took his own life in 2018 at the age of 28.

Featuring hours of haunting footage from friends, colleagues and family, Avicii – I’m Tim offers a harrowing insight into the Swedish DJ’s life.

The 90-minute film, directed by Henrik Burman, includes his first photo – a baby scan from 1989 – and his very last – an image of him meditating just days before he took his own life on April 20, 2018 in Oman .

It also features commentary from Tim himself from an interview he gave at the end of his career, and follows the superstar DJ from his idyllic childhood in Stockholm to the global fame he achieved with hits such as Wake Me Up and Hey Brother .

But it was the song Levels that really launched his music career and has since been streamed more than a billion times on Spotify.

“Everything worked out incredibly well with Levels,” Avicii is heard saying in the documentary.

“I could afford a tour manager, I didn’t have to fly everywhere by bus.” I was young, I was hungry. I went from small clubs to big clubs, to theaters and amphitheaters.

But as his fame grew, so did the pile of party invitations he received – and Avicii, then 22, began drinking to excess.

“It was just everything new and it was a big party,” he said. “I realized there was a magical cure to just having a few drinks before moving on, which would loosen you up and make it a completely different experience.”

“I just did everything I could. “I didn’t even know before that you could actually do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but once you do, you can tour for a whole year.”

Tim, who described himself as an introvert and anxious person, used alcohol to “loose himself up” before going on stage so he could take on the “personality” of Avicii.

“I didn’t like being a person,” he said. “I didn’t like having to be Avicii and then Tim.” “It’s still very confusing, I still don’t really understand it.”

In 2012, Tim was hospitalized with pancreatitis due to excessive alcohol consumption.

He said: “I had been drinking excessively for a few years and the doctors said, ‘You can’t drink so much anymore, you need to calm down.’ I knew that if I didn’t do anything that would probably bite me in the ass would do something about it.’

Throughout the documentary, Tim’s closest friends and family members add their own narratives.

One of the people who spent hours in the studio with Avicii was Neil Jacobson, president of Geffen Records.

In the Netflix documentary, Neil recalled the impact the world tour had on Tim.

“I knew the tour was really taking its toll. “I knew he hated it,” he said. “It was hard not to notice the size of his team, the mentality he was in, the stress he was under, the frustration that was getting more and more frustrated.”

Tim explained why he was so frustrated with his newfound fame: “I was much happier before I became famous than after.”

“I started to feel very empty and unhappy. I was just in autopilot mode. I just behaved that way because I thought that’s how you should behave, that’s how you should behave.”

Although his net worth was estimated at around $50 million when he died in 2018, the DJ admitted that it was “never about money.”

He said: “The only real financial goal I had was the freedom that money gives you and I felt that freedom after being able to take a taxi wherever I wanted, go out, eat out and pay rent. “

“It’s like buying cars, I don’t enjoy it.” Artists are people, we’re people who create shit, and then they’re thrown into an environment, an industry, where it’s about how many Views and comments you have.

“You can’t have a single meeting with someone in the industry without them mentioning 60 different statistics and why that’s better.”

“I was chasing an idea of ​​happiness that wasn’t my own. At that time I no longer enjoyed making music at all because it was just too much. I don’t know how to fix this.’

Tim’s friend Jesse Waits described how Avicii’s performances were canceled due to his declining mental health.

“From the outside, it was hard to see what the problem was,” Jesse said, adding that Tim’s career had taken off and he had a family that loved and supported him.

“I had just realized at the time that he was taking painkillers. I think that threw him back into a deeper hole.

“When people take opioids, their eyes change and they are essentially stuck. The black eye areas turn into small needles. And I could see his eyes wide open like a zombie, you know? And he was just like he wasn’t there.

“For him, he justified it by suppressing his fear, but it only created more fear afterward.”

In his own words, Tim described his fear as a “stone in my stomach” that was there “constantly.”

Finally, his management team intervened.

“I went to psychiatrists,” Tim revealed in the documentary. “I went to doctors. I have tried so many different diets. I tried to start training.

“My dream would be to be completely relaxed and completely content with what I already have and not really have any ambition to do a billion other things.” I’m trying to find a balance. Balance in life with my friends and family.’

After taking a break from his music career, Tim traveled the world and brought his friends with him.

As a result, he said he felt the “same kind of spirit” he felt when he was 18.

“Being free makes me really happy,” he said. “By not feeling tied down and not feeling pushed in all different directions. When I make music without expectations.’

During this time, the DJ even discovered his spiritual side and learned transcendental meditation with his “Voodoo Doctor”.

“He was fine,” his friend Jesse recalled. “Like one of the best places I’ve ever seen.”

In 2018, Tim decided to travel to Oman and planned to make music with Neil, the president of Geffen Records, upon his return.

After their call to arrange a batch of recording sessions, Neil said: “We hung up and he flew to Oman and I never thought anything of it.”

“I just thought it was a normal Tuesday – and that was the last time I ever spoke to him.”

Tim tragically took his own life on April 20, 2018 near Muscat, Oman.

His friend Jesse said, “I don’t think anyone knows why or what happened.” No one knows what was going through his mind. Anyone can speculate.

“He seemed fine to everyone I spoke to who was around him. “He was in a good place.

“I’m sure everyone feels like if they had been there they could have made a difference. Especially his family.”

After his death, Tim’s family released a statement saying, “Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul who sought answers to existential questions.”

“An ambitious perfectionist who traveled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress.” When he stopped touring, he wanted to find balance in life to be happy and do what he loved most – Music.

“He really had problems with thoughts about meaning, life and happiness.” He could no longer continue. He wanted to find peace.

“Tim wasn’t cut out for the business machine he found himself in; He was a sensitive guy who loved his fans but shied away from the spotlight. Tim, you will forever be loved and sorely missed. The person you were and your music will keep your memory alive

“We love you, the Tim Bergling family.”

In a poignant moment in the documentary, American singer Aloe Blacc analyzes the lyrics of the song SOS, which he sang in 2019 as part of Avicii’s posthumous album Tim.

“Can you hear me, SOS?” Help me quiet my mind.’

Looking at the lyrics and fighting back tears, the singer said, “It felt like we had this cry for help and I was getting this letter from Tim way too late.”

Avicii – I’m Tim is available on Netflix, along with a recording of his final live performance Avicii – My Last Show.

Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or at https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/.