Warning: This story contains spoilers from the two-hour third season premiere of Special Forces: The Toughest Test in the World.

Denise Richards talks about the lasting effects of sexual assault.

In the third season premiere of Special Forces: The Toughest Test in the World On January 8, the 53-year-old actress and her fellow recruits were asked to perform a helicopter rescue, in which they attempted to jump from a boat onto a hovering helicopter and push themselves into the cabin.

The challenge — which stems from the actual Army Special Forces selection process — reminded Richards of her past. She explained: “I really want to learn not to let fear get the best of me. I have experienced traumatic situations that were very frightening for me. I want to learn to deal with these problems and become stronger.”

After she failed the challenge because she was unable to lift herself into the cabin of the helicopter, the DS brought her in for a discussion after noting that she looked “kind of like a deer in the headlights” during the experience.

“It is difficult. I was completely out of my comfort zone,” Richards said, adding, “I’m not petrified. I’m emotional right now.”

The DS noted that she was “frozen” during the exercise, and the mother of three responded: “Yes, I am completely overwhelmed by certain fearful situations and I want to learn to stay calm and do something.”

Richards further elaborated on the reason for taking part in the show, explaining: “One of the reasons I wanted to do this course is because I’ve been in situations where I froze and couldn’t function, I couldn’t even speak “To protect myself.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum – mother to daughters Sami, 20, Lola, 19, and Eloise, 13 – then recalled a traumatic situation with her husband Aaron Phypers.

“We drove. “He wanted to take me to (a) set,” she said. “He didn’t want me to go alone, thank God, and we got physical in his truck and I sat on the ground and was literally me peeing.” I was so scared… I froze.”

“The first time I experienced it was when I was 15 and noticed a man following me,” she continued. “He came up behind me, put his hand around my mouth, grabbed my vagina and started tugging me and I froze like I couldn’t even scream for help.”

After admitting that she had only told her husband about the sexual assault, Richards broke down in tears and added: “It’s so scary to be in this situation, you know, at this age and to be so vulnerable. “And I have three daughters and I never want that to happen to them. And also if something, God forbid, is strong enough.”

In a confessional, Richards reflected on how she hasn’t put the sexual assault behind her. “I think I haven’t addressed a lot of what I’ve been through and it’s very frightening. I don’t know if I could overcome my past,” she said.

After bungee jumping from a 130 foot jump. In the second episode, in which they took part in a surf immersion challenge on a high bridge – repeatedly dunking themselves underwater while linking their arms – Richards realized that the reality series on Fox Bootcamp style had become too much for her.

While complaining of back pain that left her “barely” able to walk, Richards ripped off her armband and gave up. “I really want to have the whole experience, but the older I get, the more I don’t know if I’m physically capable of it,” she said.

Never miss a story again — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Special Forces: The Toughest Test in the World airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Fox.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.