As the seconds ticked away from Monday night’s win over the Chargers, Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh wanted to remind his defense to block out the noise and distractions and not get sidelined.

He repeatedly tapped the sides of his head with his cupped hands, as if he were putting on imaginary earmuffs.

Funny thing, in the week leading up to the much-hyped Harbaugh Bowl — the third edition of the NFL’s only brother-on-brother head coaching matchup — the Ravens coach had to heed his own advice. He had to ignore all the outside chatter and concentrate on the task at hand.

“Yeah, absolutely, it was kind of an earmuff in that sense, and I know it was for Jim as well,” said John Harbaugh, who improved to 3-0 in games against his younger brother. “Because in the end it’s meaningful, it’s important. It’s such an incredible thing. I’m so proud of him. It’s amazing to look back in time, where we are and where we came from.

“We had different paths and grew up in the same room. We have always lived our lives side by side. But that’s not what the game is about. The game is about the players.”

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Despite the obvious love and respect the two have for each other, there was no brother-to-brother backtracking, no supposed sibling sympathy, in Baltimore’s 30-23 win. Both John and Jim — whose teams could easily meet in the playoffs in a few months — were fully invested in the moment.

Because of this, the Ravens tried three times on fourth down and were successful on all three, including once on 16th down. None of the coaches took their foot off the gas.

“The most important thing was who we were playing,” said John, 62, 15 months older than Jim. “You just have to try to hold on to possessions as long as possible because they are so good. … Their offense is so sophisticated and so good that we just felt like we needed it.”

As the game clock reached 0:00, photographers, cameramen and other media quickly streamed from the four corners of the field to midfield to capture the brotherly handshake. That was short, John and Jim exchanged a few friendly words and hugged each other briefly before going their separate ways.

If you didn’t know what happened in the game, didn’t know the final result, it would be hard to tell from the post-game media sessions which brother won and which lost. They were both cautious and chose their words carefully.

“Every week at this level, everyone puts an incredible amount of effort and everything they have into these games,” Jim said. “I was really happy with our effort, our brave effort, and their side of the ball also showed a brave effort.”

Just as John won all three games against his brother as a coach – including a Super Bowl victory – quarterback Peyton Manning was 3-0 against his younger brother Eli. And just as these high-profile encounters were torture for parents Archie and Olivia Manning, they are also torture for Jack and Jackie Harbaugh.

The Harbaugh parents attended the first two games with their sons, but on Monday – which happened to be their 63rd anniversary – they were in Florida watching from the home of their daughter Joanie, who is married to longtime college basketball coach Tom Crean .

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Both brothers contacted their parents before the game.

“I wished them a happy anniversary and I know Jim did the same,” John said. “Jim and I texted a bit before the game. Just so thankful for our parents. When you’re lucky enough to have parents who get along so well and love each other and have been married for 63 years, you kind of get an idea of ​​how this is supposed to work. This is the gift they gave all three of us.

“I know they are 100% happy and 100% disappointed at the same time. If you can imagine that, that’s how they feel right now.”

The Ravens improved to 8-4 with the win, giving them a better record than the 7-4 Chargers and a significant lead in the race for the postseason. There was no gloating from John about this. He opened his press conference by calling his younger brother “the best coach in the National Football League” because of how hard he played and what he did.

He added: “They will win a lot more football games this year and will be an important factor in the playoffs.”

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When they were children, sharing a bedroom and occasionally exchanging blows, the extremely competitive brothers made an agreement. They divided their room into two parts.

“John came up with the idea of ​​putting a piece of athletic tape across the floor of the room we shared,” Jim, then coach of the San Francisco 49ers, told the Los Angeles Times in 2011. “He announced that it wasn’t me.” He wasn’t allowed to be on his side of the tape and he wasn’t allowed to be on my side.

Jim agreed to the plan, but later discovered that most of the important items – a record player, a radio, a desk and an alarm clock – were on his brother’s side. Jim had the closet where they kept their clothes and the bedroom door on his side, but John was allowed to use those if necessary.

“So the deal was the deal,” Jim said. “But there are these 10 or 12 defining moments in your life, and this was one of them. I learned a valuable lesson the hard way: negotiate a good deal in advance.”

As for the history of the tape? It’s more loving, but still one-sided.

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This story originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times.