I almost fell out of my chair at the coffee shop this morning when I saw an article suggesting that the Boston Celtics would benefit from trading Derrick White.

We have reached an era where it is not uncommon to see articles like this. Fake trades increase page views and unfortunately that is only part of the game at the moment.

However, it’s always pretty funny when you see plays like this involving a team like the Celtics. Short of an NBA 2K MyLeague parade, there is no way Boston would have any interest in flipping White in any deal.

They’re just too good and he’s just too valuable.

The All-Defensive guard has proven time and time again that he is an essential cog in Joe Mazzulla’s basketball machine. Since trading for White in February 2022 (yes, Mazzulla had not yet become head coach), the Celtics have a record of 160-54 (.748 winning percentage). They have reached the Eastern Conference Finals every season since, appeared in two NBA Finals and won the NBA Championship last season.

That’s a good summary of the team’s success, don’t you think?

Not to mention, the guy almost never misses a game. When he does that, it’s clear the Cs miss his presence. In the ten games they have had to play without the Buffalo, Boston has a record of just 6-4 (.600). That might be a decent clip for most teams, but not for the Celtics.

As an individual, White was great for Boston.

In each of his first two full seasons in Green, the Colorado native was named to the NBA’s All-Defensive Second Team. He was literally one of the best shot blockers the league has ever seen. White ranked 12th among all guards in NBA history with 87 blocks last season.

He was also pretty good on offense with the ball. Most of the time, White serves as Boston’s second or third scorer, but he’s happy with whatever the team needs from him, big or small.

En route to Boston’s 18th NBA title last spring, White posted several point outbursts, including a playoff career-high 38 points against the Miami Heat. He was incredible throughout, averaging 16.4 points per game on 45/40 shooting.

He picked up right where he left off this season. White is averaging a career-high 17.4 points per game on an efficient 45/39 split.

When you consider all of that along with the fact that White just signed a four-year, $118 million contract extension in July, trading him would be ridiculous. Because of his new contract, he literally cannot be traded until January 6, 2025.

This contract is either the second or third most valuable of Boston’s starting lineup, depending on how you feel about Jaylen Brown’s supermax (personally, I think it’s worth it). The task of finding someone who fits the team better than DWhite would be impossible. Even if they landed a superstar in that spot, it would be a huge question whether they would be willing to sacrifice individual success to keep up with Boston’s core.

To be completely honest, I’m not sure the Celtics have any reason to make a trade before the end of this season. Maybe if they’re determined to move Jaden Springer in exchange for picks or an extra roster spot, but even then it feels like a force. Draft picks would certainly be helpful for Brad Stevens as he continues to battle the new CBA and build a sustainable roster in Boston.

The Celtics have so much money tied up in the contracts of their (many) star players that the draft is really the only way for them to bring in new talent at a cheap price. To continue to field a strong roster around White, Brown and Jayson Tatum, targeting draft picks or undrafted signings will be crucial. Even if Boston were to move on from one of their stars, they would likely turn to Kristaps Porzingis or Jrue Holiday first, but even that seems far-fetched.

At this point, there is no real motivation for Stevens to shake up his core players. Even though Porzingis has missed a good portion of their games so far, they are off to the same start as last season with 24 games (19-5). There are still plenty of games left, but it doesn’t look like the Celtics are going down any time soon.