Hollywood actor and director Justin Baldoni recently spoke about the great difficulties he faced while simultaneously directing and portraying an extremely complex character in the film It ends with us. I’m talking about an episode of Elizabeth Day How to fail On the podcast, Baldoni opened up about the emotional toll of taking on the role of Ryle, a character whose actions and traumas are central to the film’s exploration of domestic violence.

“It’s a very strange place. The direction of trying to play a character like Ryle – doing the things he does – was overwhelming at times. There were moments during filming where I just had to walk away, take a step back and leave everything behind.” He said, said.

The 40-year-old, who also directed the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s best-selling novel, played Lily Bloom, Ryle’s wife and protagonist of the story, alongside Blake Lively. The film’s heavy themes required intense emotional labor, and Baldoni admitted that staying in character often left him emotionally shaken.

“I did a lot of somatic therapy and there were times on set when I was physically shaking,” he said. “There’s a scene where Ryle finds Lily’s phone and is filled with jealousy and heartbreak. He doesn’t harm her, but you can see how dangerous he is. After filming that scene, I almost had a breakdown,” Baldoni added.

The process of embodying Ryle’s pain and trauma proved to be one of the most difficult aspects of the role. “The difficult thing about a character like that is not just his actions. It is the trauma that drives these actions – the uncertainty, the pain, and even the belief that one should not be alive. Living in that mindset for weeks was incredibly stressful,” Baldoni reflected.

Even after filming was completed, the character remained with Baldoni. “It took months to completely shake off Ryle. I even had dreams as him for a while. But thankfully I think it’s mostly out of my system now,” he admitted.

Adding to the challenge was Baldoni’s dual role as director, which often left him feeling isolated on set. “Directing is a very lonely job,” he said. “You’re at the top of this totem pole, and while everyone is looking to you for answers, it’s difficult to share your own fears or insecurities. You have to be the leader, even if you have problems inside.”

While It ends with us The depiction of domestic violence sparked discussions and also caused controversy off-screen. Tensions reportedly arose between Baldoni and Lively due to creative differences over the direction of the film. Despite the difficulties, Baldoni remained committed to honoring the source material and addressing the story’s sensitive themes.

The director also expressed regret that the film did not include a trigger warning for the audience, a feature he had strongly advocated. “I didn’t want to re-traumatize the audience,” he explained. “I fought for a trigger warning at the beginning of the film, but that was a battle I couldn’t win.”

When the two didn’t promote the film together, rumors arose about their falling out. Even at the premiere in August of this year, they didn’t fit together. Blake reportedly commissioned a cut of the film that was different from Baldoni’s and ultimately made it into the final cut. She also allegedly spread a rumor that Baldoni embarrassed her in an intimate scene and kissed her for too long. According to a report in Variety, Lively’s actor husband Ryan Reynolds also wrote a key scene in the film, allegedly undermining Baldoni’s credit. Baldoni had also previously distanced himself from directing the sequel, although his production house owns the rights to produce the film.

“This is new territory and no one has any idea what a sequel might look like. “There is probably no world in which these two will work together again,” a source was quoted as saying.