They announced they tied the knot eight years after they met. However, even though they had been together for so long, their families were not too happy about the decision as Hussain was an Indian Muslim and Minnecola was an Italian-American. “My father had passed away and my mother wanted us to get married. But she thought India was too many worlds away,” Minnecola recalls.

Hussain added: “In India, at least at this point of time, it is a bit difficult to convince your parents to accept your choice… and whoever you have chosen should be your partner.” And in my family, it was the first intermarriage. So it was more than my father that my mother found it difficult… and it was very difficult for her to be a devout Muslim.”

Asked if they had told her about the relationship, he said: “We only told her when I was already married but my father was there. He married us in the Muslim ceremony. But no one was present at the civil wedding, which was the first. We just went there and did it one day.”

While her journey was towards marriage characterized by resistance From both sides of the family, Hussain’s determination and Minnecola’s eventual acceptance of their love paved the way for a bond that has stood the test of time.

But what psychological and emotional challenges do couples face when their families disapprove of their relationship due to cultural differences?

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “When families initially disapprove of a relationship because of… cultural differencesCouples often experience a deep feeling of disappointment and psychological stress. This rejection can feel like a loss of autonomy and agency, especially in collectivist societies like India, where family approval is closely tied to identity and life choices. Disapproval can lead to an emotional tug-of-war between individual desires and family expectations, creating feelings of disruption and conflict in couples.”

“In India, at least at this point in time, it is a bit difficult to convince parents to accept one’s choice,” said Zakir Hussain. (Source: Express Archives)

For many, she mentions a deep sense of guilt for pursuing personal happiness at the expense of family harmony, which can be undermined Confidence and cause a persistent feeling of inadequacy or betrayal.

“In Indian society, where relationships are often viewed as alliances between families rather than just two individuals, such disapproval also contributes to social judgment. Couples may feel isolated as the lack of acceptance may limit their ability to openly share their relationship, further increasing feelings of alienation,” she adds.

Balancing the desire to honor family traditions with the need to make independent decisions

Baruah explains: “Balancing the desire to honor family traditions with the need for independence is a delicate act that requires self-respect, respect for others, and a deep clarity about what really matters.” The right balance lies in: to recognize this honor your happiness doesn’t have to mean rejecting your family’s values. This includes open, confident and mature conversations in which you honestly present your perspective while genuinely listening to them.”

Communicate that independent decisions—such as who to marry or how to live your life—do not diminish your respect or trust in family. Instead, it strengthens the relationship by building on mutual understanding rather than blind following. “Show your family that your decisions are made based on thoughtfulness, not rebellion, and emphasize that respecting their traditions and pursuing your happiness can coexist. This approach promotes a harmony in which both personal freedom and family bonds are valued,” she adds.