The menu for the NBA’s annual holiday feast is now available. No expense was spared.

That’s a whole day’s worth of meatloaf, cranberry slices, Brussels sprouts, eggnog and fruitcake. Anything you can bear.

Enjoy.

Or better yet, grab your NBA trophy and get started.

Bottoms-up actually seems to be a foreign concept for NBA planners.

Want a fun holiday matchup? How about showcasing teams that made the first third of the season enjoyable?

Like the Cavaliers, Thunder, Grizzlies and Rockets.

Even the Pacers and Hawks have registered an accelerated heartbeat lately.

The same goes for LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Paul George and Kevin Durant, but for different reasons.

Unfortunately it’s Christmas and everyone has to eat something. So here’s how I would rank the five nationally televised games on a strictly digestible basis…

1. Spurs-Knicks

Here’s your cranberry slice. At least there’s some juice in it. Lew Alcindor vs. Elvin Hayes. Except with a 3-point line. Can you imagine John Wooden’s reaction when he saw the massive Alcindor bomb from 25 feet away? Guy Lewis instructs the powerful Hayes to anchor himself on the sideline to make way for the defense?

This is what the game has become. And I have to say, it can be enjoyable in small doses. Wembanyama is the new LeBron – an unstoppable force for the next decade or so. He needs games like these to make his mark in the national mindset. Thank God Santa Claus does his work early in the West. The best basketball of the day begins at 9 a.m

2. 76ers-Celtics

The map features two regional rivalries that were once entertaining but rarely return to their glory days. This is one, although the 76ers appear to have found a winning formula. Let’s see if the NBA – wink, wink – cites the holiday office closure when it announces Joel Embiid’s suspension one game late.

Few players in the NBA are more polarizing than Jayson Tatum. You either adore his son or you hate his sense of entitlement. You decide: Focus on Tatum on defense in this game. He’ll be given the simplest task, eight rebounds falling into his lap because he’s not guarding anyone, and a broadcaster will tell us, “He does all the little things” when he struggles offensively, as he routinely does under the bright lights does . And his son will get more airtime than Taylor Swift.

3. Lakers Warriors

LeBron vs. Curry used to be must-see television. It has achieved premium positioning in this range, so some advertisers must obviously feel that this is still the case.

But let’s be honest… If this game took place on December 26th, it’s likely both would have an old man’s day off. LeBron has pushed through aches and pains in recent games to showcase his greatness. Curry… well, the guy who thought it was a brilliant idea to get him off the ball doesn’t understand defensive rule #1: It’s easier to guard a man without the ball than with it. The Tatum Principle.

4. Nuggets Suns

This game would be rated higher if it weren’t for two major flaws, all of which were foreseeable a long time ago. First of all, it’s a rematch of a game two nights before on the other side, so I was there and did that. However, it won’t be hard to improve on a 117-90 blowout.

And second, injuries to teams that always have injuries will result in at least one standout performer (Devin Booker) being sidelined, and quite possibly a second (Jamal Murray) as well. This makes for a very exciting duel between squads that are less deep than the University of Arizona football team on the day the portal opened. Fittingly, the Grand Canyon State will host its final Christmas pajama party.

5. Timberwolves-Mavericks

Where is the flexible planning when you need it? The Timberwolves play the worst basketball in the NBA north of the Big Easy – did you know that the Mississippi River connects Minneapolis and New Orleans? — after losing their last three games by a total of about 100 points to the Knicks, Warriors and Hawks. Not the kind of team you want to showcase.

Sure, Luka Doncic, Kyrie Irving and Klay Thompson play for the Mavericks. But do they really do that? Doncic is reintroduced to the lineup after injury, making him a prime candidate for an off night. At the same time, you can expect Irving and Thompson to watch more than perform. Keep an eye on Olivier-Maxence Prosper. Or not. A fresh fruit cake – especially after meatloaf – can be very underrated. Or not.