What does it mean to hold space?

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Dr. Sarah Ashton, psychologist and director of Ships Psychology in Melbourne, says that while people apply the term to things like songs, holding space is a way of referring to someone else.

“It means maintaining a nonjudgmental presence toward another person by showing empathy, actively listening, providing emotional safety, and allowing a person to process what they are experiencing.”

While holding space can occur between any two people, it is often used to describe the specific relationship between a therapist and their patient.

“A psychologist is trained to put aside their reactions to be present with the other person so that they are not alone in their experience,” she says.

Ashton believes that holding space can be a saving grace for our increasingly fragmented and fast-paced society.

“It’s really important for our relationships and our world right now, especially when there are really complex and difficult things going on.”

According to Ashton, in order to give space to the people in our lives, we must first understand our own feelings and remember that connecting with others is a process in which we all make mistakes.

“Ultimately, we all want to be connected…and that includes vulnerability and building trust.”

“Every interpersonal dynamic is a collaborative process of creating connection and safety. So we may not always get it right, but the answer is not to retreat.”

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